


if it's something that you want, darling, you don't have to run

by bellawritess



Series: lashton prompts [20]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: ........i guess, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, First Kiss, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellawritess/pseuds/bellawritess
Summary: They fall asleep intertwined, but Ashton knows he can’t stay.
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin
Series: lashton prompts [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026498
Kudos: 5





	if it's something that you want, darling, you don't have to run

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sunsetmagnolia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetmagnolia/gifts).



> **prompt:** kiss me slowly by parachute
> 
> [tumblr link!](https://clumsyclifford.tumblr.com/post/632208382522261505/25-with-lashton-with-the-song-kiss-me-slowly-if)
> 
> title from kiss me slowly by parachute

They fall asleep intertwined, but Ashton knows he can’t stay. ****

It’s not fair to him to stay, not fair of Luke to expect it; Ashton can’t stay when he feels the way he feels, knowing that Luke doesn’t feel the same. He’ll hold Luke’s hand through the harder nights but he can’t stick around until morning. That would cross a line that they’re not in a place to cross, not like this. Not now, and maybe not ever.

Still, it’s difficult to extricate himself from Luke’s koala-like grasp when he wakes up in the middle of the night, and by the time he’s freed himself he can see Luke’s eyes fluttering open. The clock reads _3:17 AM_.

“Whazhuh?” Luke mumbles, voice groggy and thick with sleep.

“It’s okay,” Ashton whispers. “Go back to sleep.”

Luke stares up at him. “Where are you going?”

It’s not a trap, but it feels like one. “Home,” Ashton says. “I’ll, um, see you —”

“I thought —” Luke frowns, and the hurt on his face is clear. “I thought you were staying.”

“I — I can’t,” Ashton says. He swallows. “Sorry.” He makes for the door and hears the rustling of the sheets. Resolute, he doesn’t turn, but as he reaches the bedroom door Luke’s hand closes around his wrist, and he’s jerked to a stop.

“Please stay,” Luke breathes. “Please.”

Ashton stares at him, searching for an answer. The city lights bleed through the window — even at three in the morning there are lights, and it’s like they spend all night waiting to cling to Luke, illuminate his skin, his blue blue eyes. It’s always been easy for Ashton to get caught up in those eyes, but now more than usual, with Luke standing before him, half-lit and half-shadows, begging him not to go.

“Luke, this isn’t fair,” he says weakly. “You know it’s not fair.”

“Please let me try,” Luke says. “Okay, you’re right. I know I’ve been using you for comfort. I know that wasn’t fair. But I really mean it. I want you to stay. I want — I don’t know, but more than this.”

Ashton hardly dares breathe. “Don’t play with me,” he says, and it comes out shaky. “People don’t just change their minds like that.”

“It’s a long time coming,” Luke tells him. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure, but I am now. I’m sure.” He takes a deep breath, and Ashton finds himself doing the same. “I want to give us a shot. You’re so — you’re — fuck.” He looks at his feet, shaking his head and laughing a bit. “I don’t have the words, I guess. Sorry. I wasn’t expecting to say this now.”

“It’s okay,” Ashton says, heart beating _thumpthumpthump_ against his ribs, accelerating by the second. Luke’s still holding his wrist; his skin feels like it’s on fire. “I just need to know you’re being serious, because it’s not, like, a joke to me. It’s okay if you don’t want — me, anything with me, but if you do —”

“I do,” Luke says, and though Ashton is listening carefully, he can’t hear a trace of insincerity. There’s an edge to Luke’s voice, steely determination lacing his words. “I mean, I don’t know what it is, exactly, but I want it. Please give me a chance. I don’t want to fuck up. I don’t want to lose you like this.”

“You won’t lose me.”

“But I won’t really have you. And I want to. I mean it, Ashton.” 

Ashton’s eyes are still trained on the piercing blue of Luke’s. He’s worried if he tears his gaze away he’ll realize this is a dream and abruptly wake up. Luke is holding it steady, though, and Ashton closes his eyes because too much of this will take him apart, so he feels rather than sees when Luke leans in closer, breath hot against Ashton’s face; he feels Luke’s one hand slide down from Ashton’s wrist to his hand, and the other one settle lightly against Ashton’s face. There’s a magnetism pulling him closer to Luke — there always is, but now Ashton succumbs to it, leaning close, holding his breath, and he can’t see Luke, but he can feel when Luke meets him halfway, softly brushing his lips against Ashton’s.

It’s almost too much, and Ashton almost pulls away, mostly because he can’t really believe this is real, and he’s afraid to fall into it too much only to be yanked back to reality. But Luke keeps him close, pressing more firmly into the kiss, and Ashton finally thinks, fuck it. If this _is_ a dream, he might as well make the most of it.

(And he’s starting to believe it’s not.)

The kiss is careful, slow, and Ashton wants to savor every second of it in case it never happens again. He cups Luke’s face in his hands, tilting his head for a better angle, and Luke moves with him, sleep-warm under his fingertips. There’s something almost surreal about it, something really dreamlike, but Ashton’s sure never in his wildest dreams could he imagine a kiss as good as this one, and he knows his subconscious couldn’t invent the feeling of Luke’s mouth on his. Not like this.

Eventually Luke pulls away, and they both stand there, catching their breath, exhales intermingling. Ashton finally opens his eyes, blinking away the image of the skyline through the window in his mind’s eye in favor of looking directly into Luke’s eyes. From this angle, they’re hidden in shadows.

“Please stay,” Luke says quietly. It’s stripped bare; there’s nothing more. All the cards are on the table, and Luke is asking Ashton to stay.

And it should be more complicated than this; Ashton has no idea what this is going to be, and it’s clear Luke doesn’t either, and neither of them have any answers. He shouldn’t agree to something without knowing what he’s agreeing to, and shouldn’t commit to everything it would mean to stay with Luke tonight. 

But he wants it. And Luke wants it. And maybe it can be that simple, if they let it. Maybe they don’t need all the answers right now. Maybe they can take it one answer at a time.

“Okay,” Ashton murmurs, and the shy smile on Luke’s face means that’s the right first answer.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading <3 i'm on tumblr [@clumsyclifford](http://clumsyclifford.tumblr.com/) so come say hey!


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